Tuesday, 10 October 2017

Mojo Problems - Not A Gaming Post

I am feeling a little bit down today. There is a lot going on in my house at the moment. Some of which weighs me down a bit more than some of the others but it's not proving to be a good time for me at the moment. Despite that, you have to keep on keeping on.

For the second day in a row I haven't really done anything, well nothing meaningfully productive. Blogging is about as meaningful as it has gotten for me today. It's a good job that I am making myself stick with the daily posting thing or even this wouldn't be happening.

My work chair has not been sat on all day, well maybe the cat was on it for a bit. My other half isn't well so I have really had to step up. K is waiting for a death in the family to happen. It's a forgone conclusion sadly that this lass is going to pass soon and she is still young enough to make it even more tragic.

It's not been the busiest day but I am tired. Playing Fallout 4, which I haven't played for months, has proven to be much easier. I guess that there are a few decisions that are going to need to be made in a year or so that I don't really want to think about but are kind of playing on my mind. This means I am losing sleep and that means I am losing focus.

Timing is proving to be a big issue for me at the moment. I didn't really deal with the death of my dad at the time as I was busy looking after my mum. Now I am having to deal with both and some family turmoil as well. I went to pick up their ashes the other day. My dad had always wanted to be buried but my mum hated the idea. Shortly before he died, my mum talked him into a cremation. What didn't get settled was what to do with his ashes. My mum similarly left me without a clue what to do with hers. So now they are sat side by side in my lounge whilst I figure out what to do with them.

There is a lyric somewhere that goes something like "whatever gets you through the night, is alright". The trouble about the here and now is what is getting me through the day. That is what it is about for most of us. For me, I am finding things to fill in the time between the stuff that makes the world go around. This is typically painting figures or doing something gaming related. Tomorrow is looking like an easy day for me so I am hoping that I can get back in the game.

The uplifting thing is that one day I am going to come back and read this post. You might say that is a little depressing as this post is pretty far from uplifting. When I do come back to it, it will be on a better day when all these problems are behind me. Things will be back to their "normal" and I'll in the swing of things again.


  1. Thing sound tough right Fred, and understandably so.

    Try not to be hard on yourself in the mean-time. Doing something - anything - can sometimes be a help, and I think you are right to observe that one day you will be feeling different and likely more positively.

    Take care, and keep on keeping on. :)

    1. Cheers.

      I am a big believer in what I call physical therapy. Physically getting up and doing something that is enjoyable. Very early start this morning and now I am on wind down when I need to be keeping on keeping on...

    2. Totally agreed; there is a whole idea about behavioural activation - basically the idea of doing (especially something enjoyable) to avoid self-critical over rumination. Keep on keeping on doing what works for you mate. :)

  2. If it helps Fred, you are not alone - we share similar experiences.
    I lost my kid sister just over a year ago and while I was still 'on the ropes' from that my Dad passed away last month. Dealing with the "official" side of that hasn't allowed me to properly move on, and I'm thankful for the distractions that our hobby and blogging community provide.
    Keep up the "physical Therapy" buddy.

    1. The world is seeming a little less fun at the moment. Still of to fablab...