Blatant (If Funny) Plagarism

This article has been completely stolen from the Daily Mash. I've done this because it's funny

Veteran of Warhammer 40,000 conflict struggling to come to terms with it

34-YEAR-OLD Norman Steele has been left traumatised after his army of space marines was wiped out during a tabletop wargame.

Unemployed Steele could only look on in horror as his miniature battalion of spacesuit-clad Imperium troops was pinned against a fortress wall by six-limbed aliens.

He said: “They were using venom cannons and spore mine launchers. Not real weapons obviously, but scale models vividly painted to look very realistic.

“Anyway we were hugely outnumbered and there was nothing I could do. Everywhere you looked space marines were getting wiped out.

“Since the battle I’ve been unable to look at a picture of any futuristic alien or monster without experiencing flashbacks.

“Worse still I cannot go near a table of any kind without hearing the ominous clatter of dice and the gloating voice of a middle-aged man in a Sepultura t-shirt.

“I just want some professional help to get back to being the quiet, shy man who I used to be.”

Kidney Stones And Waaargh

It's all good isn't it? Isn't it? Generally I would say that my life is pretty good. That said it's a lot more fun when you don't have to pass two kidney stones. Which, I can assure you from personal experience can really put a dent in you week.

So not much painting. Between the pain and the tablets that make me pee like a carthorse every half an hour and the resultant need to drink enough water to allow me to pee like said cart horse every half an hour, not to mention the sleeping like the dead thing, I haven't had too much time to spend with a brush in my hand.

I do have a very clean and tidy workbench. Well as tidy a bench as I can have with a ten year old learning how to paint figures. Some of the paint manages to make it onto the figures (and pretty much in the right place it has to be said) but he bench itself is looking like a cammo pattern designed by someone with serious mental trauma.